obligatory olympics post, phelps, et. al

So the Olympics have been going on, obviously, and I have found them more worthless than normal. First of all, the basketball games are like not on TV at all ever. Everything is on tape delay with the time change, and I understand why gymnastics will pull in a bigger target audienc over bball (women), but throw me a bone and give me a game at like 11 pm or something. I don't want primetime just show me SOMETHING. Ugh. Regardless, we have been destroying everyone and it looks like we will end our incompetence in international play is coming to an end. Finally.

I have watched several baseball games and I am a bit confused by the roster we put together. I don't know how it works or anything like if MLB teams can block certain guys from going (this must be the case, obviously I don't care enough to look it up) but we do not have a very studly minor league all star team at all. That being said, it seems we will medal, so that's nice. Couple quick notes on the team and things. First, Nate Schierholtz. I have no idea in any capacity of my mind why this kid has not been given an extended look by the Giants in their outfield. They play 40 year olds next to Fred Lewis and are going nowhere this year. He has nothing left to prove in the minors and could be a very solid big league outfielder. Dexter Fowler is a freak. Rox have a really really nice prospect there. Kids 22, freak athlete 5 tool outfielder. Power should develop and he looks like he can be a 30/30 guy if he keeps randalling. LaPorta is serious, part of the CC trade, he will be a big bopper for the Tribe hopefully at the beginning of next year. Casey Weathers will be closing for the Rox soon, he's got some electric stuff. Ok enough base.

Gymnastics. Watching this once ever four years I can deal with to some degree. I have been temporarily blinded at times from the glare off Nastia Liukins forehead when they show closeups of her, which is never good. Shawn Johnson's thighs are disgustingly massive. There is no chance that any of the Chinese girls have grown hair in places which we do not speak of. But watching these girls jump around and flip about is mildly entertaining. But sadly, my favorite part about the gymnastics is when they cut to Costas and that Eastern European guy and he loses his mind goes insane every time Costas asks him a question about anything.

Phelps. Phelps is a merman droughner. They have shown his mother a billion and a half times in the stands, and there is 0 chance that with half of his genes coming from that cow that the other half come from anyone not named Aquaman, I have decided. That being said, he is as close to a merman as you'll find. They showed the thing about his body like legs are such that he should be 6'0 and his wingspan is like 6'9 or something, just a freak. The announcer that did all the Phelps races also was a fucking genius. It would be like 10 seconds in and he was screaming and going crazy; I'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack or two during the course of the games. But Phelps won everything, world records, Lindsey Lohan texted him and wants his merdong, and he looks like Tim Lincecum on steroids. Win.

Misty May-Treanor is married to Marlins backup C Matt Treanor. That is great. Kerri Walsh, no relation to Adam Walsh. Olympics have too many worthless things in them for me to really like it. They are for girls, I have decided. Also, memo to NBC: never, ever, ever televise the marathon. Seriously, come on. Same with rowing. I guess this list could be way too long but eoh. I digress.