Monday, July 21, 2008
We treat fantasy too!!! (part ii of ii)
Alon has been a little bitch recently and has not wanted to finish our nl-only team report. But I wanted to read it, and since he isn't writing it, I will, and then read it after I'm done. We..are..fine. So after the draft we liked the team a bit but clearly if we didn't make genius pickups like we did we would not be destroying the league as we currently are. Obviously guys like Utley, Bay, Volquez and such humans have been owning for us, but the pickups we made easily have caused us to be coasting for months. We made one trade, eoheoh, pickups, standings, okok. [that is Ryan Dempster who will soon be featured]
Before May 1, we pickup the following players of note:
John Rauch, Jorge Cantu, Ryan Dempster
We dropped Fuentes for Rauch because going into the season it looked like Corpas had more of a stranglehold on the closer job than Chad Cordero who neither of us liked much. Fuentes has some saves, but Rauch has been a genius for us all season after Cordero got hurt like a week after we grabbed Rauch. He has 17 saves and a 2.98 era 1.02 whip and 44 ks in 48 ip. That's bad. Between him, Brian Wilson and Gregg we have been owning saves all year. Looking at Jorge Castillo at 3b going into the season for the fish, we liked Cantu to play a bit and maybe win the job outright. It looked like Cantu might start after a torrid spring and we thought he could be a decent deep sleeper this year. We were wrong, woohoowoohoo. Castillo got cut or something stupid and is now on the Giants, he sucks. Cantu can't play third for his life, but fantasy doesn't count fielding categories so f you. He has been mashing and batting in the middle of their order all season and has treated us to 59 r 18hr 58 rbi .291. Dempster was one of like 8 free agents after the draft who were available and with a job. He sucked last year as a closer and hasn't really had a good year starting since 2000. He's been bad this year. Bad players make the All-star team right? Somehow he is amazing; some luck in this pick but we did pick him up after he made just one start. He has been fkn amazing on the Cubbies this year and has been an anchor to our staff with a 3.05 era 1.11 whip 111k and 11 wins in 134 ip. Our staff with Volquez and Dempster breaking out to go with Haren, Oswalt who sucks hip abductor strain die kill myself, and Webb is jokingly/hysterically good.
May 10: pickup Fred Jewis for Brian Bixler
Fred has been phenomenal for us since we got him. We picked him up when he started to emerge as the Giants' starting LF, even though they bench him against lefties sometimes, he's been hitting lead off for them basically all year. He's hitting .274 with 61 runs 6 dongs 27 rbi and 17 sb. Picking up 61 runs and 17 steals off waivers in nl only is easy/bad. Ok Fred.
June 1: pickup Cody Ross for Dicksucker Hill
As May wrapped up, Ross hit 10 dingers in the month. He either started to roid (5'9" joke) or got a ridiculously hot girlfriend who serviced him before every game or something because a 10 dinger month from him was a joke. We were sort of streaming our 2nd util spot week to week and it was Ross' turn. He has started at our 2nd util ever since and has hit 6 dongs and 29 rbis for us since. He doesn't hit for great average nor does he get many runs batting 6th or 7th or wherever in the lineup but he treats some dongs and rbis for us and has been very good as our last hitter.
June 8: pickup Mike Gonzalez for Dameatfaulkerimthefattestplayerever Young
We picked up Gonzalez 10 days before his first appearance (save, eoh). We obviously didn't need another closer but our starters were all so good we had bench spots that we didn't really need to use for immediate help. Gonzalez has only 4 saves to date but we traded him soon.
June 22: claim Ubaldo Jimenez for Max Scherzer
Scherzer was starting for us probably a bit too long but he was ok in middle relief and got us some Ks so faulk you. Jimenez was streaky all year but he started to put it together in June and we felt he was worth a claim for us as we could've used another starter to replace the generally worthless Scherzer. Jimenez has K potency and has been really good for us since we grabbed him. He's got 4 quality starts in 4 tries in July and has been a skinny genius Dominican for us in our 9th pitching spot.
June 25: claim Chris Young (sd) for Charlie Morton
The guy who owned Young clearly could not afford to have one of his two valuable bench spots (only 2 bench spots in this league) taken up by him anymore. But we don't really use our bench because our team is so FKN good. We had like 8th waiver position after we just used our first claim of the year on schUbaldong though and Young didn't even have a projection as to when he would be back at this time so nobody else claimed him. Great for us. He's been sitting on our bench waiting for the coaches to put him in. He's tall and will never pitch to King Albert again, but you know what, we're FINE with that. He looks like he will be back by August and he will be at full strength to be a literal Princeton genius for us and ultimately force Ubaldo to the bench. Dunno if we'll try and trade Ubaldo as he is clearly startable in our format but we'll see. Having an extra pitcher to slide in for 2 start weeks or if guy gets hurt is a great luxury.
July 3: TRADEEEE yay Mike Gonzalez and Michael Barrett for Yadier Molina
This trade..is..a..joke. We have been getting absolutely 0 production out of Barrett and Ruiz all year. Ruiz is ok as a second catcher in nl only but as a first with Barrett is a mockery. Yadier does nothing but hit .300, which few others in the nl do. Batting average was our worst category by far so this trade fit our team perfectly. Gonzalez sucks and Barrett has never been the same since CZambrano owned him in the dugout. Highway robbery on this deal for us.
July 8: pickup KazMat for Lastings Milledge
Dunno why someone dropped Kaz the day before he came back from a 3ish week absence, but we're in a public league so some people are DUMBDUMBS. We haven't started him over Ross though because we need the hr / rbi more than the sb / r but we probably will soon because kaz is just better. Ross will join ubaldo on our bench soon and we might try and make another deal, but maybe not, because we really don't need to!
Our team is as follows: Yadier, Ruiz, Cantu, Utley, Feliz, Tejada, Bay, Bourn, Cameron, Hawpe, Lewis, CoJackson, Ross // Dempster, Haren, Webb, Oswalt, Volquez, Jimenez, Rauch, Wilson, Gregg with Kazuo and CYoung on our bench. Joke. Joke. Joke.
We have 50 of 50 pitching points. Our team era is 3.19, 2nd place is at 4.02. That's close, we're bad at era. We are up 21 Ks, kinda actually close, but our staff is genius and getting CYoung back, we will finish the season 1st in this cat. We're up 8 saves to 2nd and 25 to 3rd, that's bad, we're bad at saves. We're up 9 wins to 2nd place, our staff is bad though so we probably won't win this cat. Eoh, I'm concerned. Our whip is 1.22 while second at 1.35. Our staff is bad. 50/50 pitching in any format is ridiculous and even that much more so in nl only.
We have 31 of 50 hitting points. Middling hitting, owning pitching. We are in good shape to move up in some hitting cats, it isn't really worth noting, as the league is already over and we will win money.
I am convinced now that this exercise serves 0 utility. The only unique thing we did entering the season was draft starters early, which worked out, but without the garbage Dumpster pickup and Volquez's retarded year we would not be owning to such a degree. Again, 0 utility, but me and Alon have been up by at about 10 points since like for a long time and we wanted to treatise our team and roster moves and such. So if you hate it, I hate you, and you just wasted a couple minutes of your life. Sorry!